My Top Three
I was introduced to a fantastic book that has really transformed the way I think, what gets me stressed, and what I'm going to do about it. The book, which I've mentioned previously is called The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers. One of the chapters that really struck a chord for me was Find Ways to Live Life Simply. The author, a pediatrician who has observed moms for years, goes through a process of how to determine your top 3 priorities and make them your gauge for all decisions for the next 6-12 months. I don't know about you, but as a mom, I constantly find myself wondering where all the hours in the day go and wonder why I'm so exhausted. This, is worth a try for somebody who tends to try to do way too much. So, after reflection, I've decided on my top three 1. Be a present and positive mom. 2. Live a healthy life. 3. Make our house into a home. What do these priorities mean and what do they look like?
Be a present and positive mom has many reasons and thoughts on how to behind it. We won't go down the path of the mother I grew up with, I can simply state that I learned how to be a good mom by not being like her and am blessed every day that God gave me Becky, my bonus mom when I was 22 years old. Becky also reminds me that being present means I have got to put down that darn electronic device more. I'm making baby steps daily with this and I'm not alone. I'm the kind of person who has always tried to be there for everybody and miss sometimes being there for those that matter most. As for being positive, if you haven't had an honest conversation with your fellow moms, we all have days of running short tempered. I'm also a perfectionist who is rubbing off on my daughter. My expectations of myself have always been high and often I forget to celebrate the little milestones along the way, not just for myself. I run myself ragged, trying to accomplish more than is possible on more occasions than I care to admit. By taking care of myself and recharging my battery and having a balanced life beyond being a mom and work, I will be better in my time with Pea Pie. This means making time to spend time with the right people. We all need a check every new and then to assess if we are around caring people or those that can drain our energy. I know my daughter deserves more than the worn out mommy she has been getting who runs ridiculously low on patience and therefore, positive energy.
Disney World - Christmas 2012 - celebrating "lil e" turning 5, Bonus Mom being 5 years out from breast cancer and my 28# weight loss.
Being healthy is an all encompassing goal that includes: mentally, physically, emotionally, and financially. Some of these areas I've worked hard to accomplish goals and some I struggle with daily. Blogging helps me work through my thoughts and process everything going on. Getting debt free and living on a budget were tough and continue to be, but struggling financially is harder and not what I want to teach my little one. This means that continuing to prioritize and say no don't go away even when the debt does. I do not get enough sleep or exercise and I don't give myself the down time necessary. When this hits max level, I get to have fun at the acupuncturist. It calls for more than just my herbal concoction she makes me. While I managed to get my weight reigned in two years ago and have basically kept it off, I know that I am not functioning at full capacity. I need something to kick me in gear and reset my body, as well as making sleep and exercise a higher priority. If I went to bed earlier, it would be easier to get up for exercise. As for the kick start, I just committed to doing a nutritional cleanse with a friend after seeing some others I know reap tremendous benefits from it, including not just pounds and inches lost, but a complete difference in energy levels. I can't wait to see and feel the results. The before pic will be taken, but not posted until I have the after pic to show with it. The way I treat my body is teaching my daughter how she should treat hers. There are some changes to be made.
Summer 2013 - I hit max stress level and basically requested my acupuncturist throw everything but the kitchen sink at me. This is what helped me through the layoff, breakup, dog with cancer, & daughter might need surgery. I asked my acupuncturist to snap a pic with my phone of what was going on back there. This is a reminder that there is no need to neglect my health and need this kind of intervention again.
Make our house a home is logical and not going away from the priority lost for the next several months. We just moved in less than two months ago and there is work to be done. It's July and I'm already excited about spending our first Christmas here. That's still several months away though and I have gardens to finish, walls to paint and decorate, built ins to get built, etc. I believe that houses should become homes and be a reflection of those who live in them, welcoming others and making you want to kick off your shoes and stay a while. It should welcome you when you wake up in the morning and home in the evening. I've never been one to have a catalog pretty home, but rather trying to give the welcome friends and family warm fuzzy feeling when I make a house a home. I have put more thought and time into the planning of this one than probably any other, with maybe the exception of my first place after college in Salt Lake City. This is where Pea Pie will establish most of her childhood memories and I'm working to make those good memories. I know that gut instinct on the plane three months ago was right that something big was on the verge and while I'm wanting to make Pea Pie's memories growing up good, I know that it isn't just her memories we're building, but mine and ours too and I still believe that gut feeling, even if I don't completely understand it.
New house - lots to do!
These are my commitments to myself and my daughter as I strive to be a better me each day. I'm a work in progress, like most.
**Originally published July 12, 2014**
