Breathing Life into Our Dreams

Intuition at times can best be defined as a belief so strongly in a purpose, goal, or concept by you that it trumps the disbelief by others for you to accomplish it. It is often fueled by events, timing, and those déjà vous moments that sometimes you just can't put your finger on it. There are times when doubt creeps in and tells you to ignore it, but there is simply something in your gut that tells you that you're on the right track. I have listened to my intuition on many occasions and also had times where I allowed doubt to creep in. They say you are far more likely to regret the chances you didn't take than those you did. To a large degree, I have to agree. I will also say that many of my chances are calculated too. I find myself at one of those points in my life where my intuition simply cannot be ignored.

I also find myself at a point of being so pumped up and so exhausted at the same time. Apparently that is what happens when a single mom finds a passion for a career that begins as a second job, with a small child in school, and trying to squeeze in personal time, seeing friends, and yes, finally getting around to taking the time to date again. About that passion and intuition, it goes back to a whole lot of reflection and self assessment I did just over a trust ago. Knowing that I was going to get laid off by my former Pharma company, take a cut in pay, and needed to go back to work, I decided to think about what I really wanted to do with my life and career. I spent time reading books, thinking about my passion, started my blog to reflect, and considering my experience. I made an agreement with the guy I was seeing at the time, as we had plans to marry later that year. The agreement was that I would stay in Pharma for a year to keep the income up, help pay for the wedding, etc. After a year, we would reassess and determine plans from there.

During my six weeks of unemployment, I found my passion and what I wanted to pursue. I really wanted to go into a career involving nutrition. I had been through my own journey, loved helping others, and it was a great match of my training in teaching, as well as being in the healthcare arena. I also knew that with changes in healthcare and our country, there was a huge demand for this and it would only grow. The problem was, I was also working my Dave Ramsey debt snowball and going back to school for my masters wasn't in the budget. My plan was to work in the area of diabetes, make connections, and hopefully, one of the large healthcare organizations would agree to put me through the masters program here and I could work off the degree by agreeing to work for them when I was done, or maybe a Pharma company would pay for it. Either way, I decided on my plan for only working for a Pharma company, selling something I had a passion for, and making connections.

Low and behold, one year later, I started on another journey to optimize my own health through a nutritional cleansing program. I saw my body change in ways I hadn't before. I had experienced success losing weight, but still needed to gain access to that muscle I knew was in there. This program did it. When I get excited about something, I share. It's just how I am. The blessing is that as I shared, it turned into a little side job to make some money and pay for some extra expenses. Then, things took a bigger turn, I realized I had managed to find a way to pursue my passion without the disclaimers and IOUs. I can help people achieve nutrition results and make money and help them make money too. This is really exciting.

Now for the tipping point, I have become aware of how my busy hectic schedule means I'm not fully present for my daughter in the little time I have with her. I get up in the morning, rush to get ready, get her ready, and out the door to be on time for school. I pick her up, rush home for dinner (hopefully I crock potted or have something premade so we can eat healthy), eat dinner, quick check of homework (which she did in Afterschool care, so if she's having challenges, it's hard for me to see, very difficult for this former teacher to stomach that), after dinner walk, bath, 20 minutes of reading together (on a good night), put her to bed and rush off to get ready for the next day, praying I get more than five hours of sleep, once I get everything done around the house. Maybe if I get to bed early tonight, I can actually get up early to workout is my thought almost every night. Then the weekends are catching up on laundry, basic housework, running errands, some pre cook, and when I'm off mommy duty, time with friends or a date. My down time is precious and limited. It has become easy to become isolated with this kind of schedule, but it also means I'm not taking care of myself, and not the happiest mommy either. It's time for a change. It's going to be even busier because pursuing my dream job is one more thing to squeeze in with my busy schedule, but it's for the long term benefit. I have the support of my ex to trade off parenting duty as needed to pursue this. (Did I mention, he's also doing the nutritional cleansing, getting healthy, and making some money?) I have told my daughter that I will be super busy, but it's so that I can spend more time with her. (This puts a clock on my plan of by the holiday season of 2015.) I have also been open with her about how much I am earning and what I am able to pay for with this. She's pretty excited. As for the dating front, fortunately, I'm not the only one with a busy schedule, so it's a matter of juggling multiple priorities.

There are many who will likely question the path I am pursuing and I'm ok with that. My intuition tells me I'm on the right track. Just as I listened when I moved 2,000 miles across the country to Salt Lake City after college with just my dog, left teaching without having a full time job and knew I was going into Pharma, and so many other times, I have taken the challenging route, I know that I am on the path intended for me. It will have bumps and frustration along the way, but I am surrounding myself with positive people, a dream that excites me, and I get to help people. Life is good, but it won't always be easy. Pursue your dreams, but surround yourself with the right people to push you towards your goal.