Online Dating - Comic Relief

There's something about blogging, social media, etc that just makes us somewhere between nosey and interested in what's going on with others. The dating posts tend to have more traffic than others, so I thought I would share a little comic relief on this front. This post is for those that either have been curious, freaked out, or encouraged their single friends to try online dating. I met somebody years ago on match that I had a great relationship with and he and I are still friends, it just wasn't the right situation. So for those of you curious to know who's out there in the online dating world, let me just say it's a mix. This can vary based on website, city, search parameters, etc. Let me cushion it by saying that my profile is honest, updated pics, not scandalous, etc. I make it clear that I am a mom first, but there are no pics with little one as bait. I know that because I am rather driven, it will take somebody with a rather driven personality and who gets certain facets of what it means to be responsible. Yes, that means I rule out those just with high school diplomas, who don't take care of themselves, etc. But then there are the profiles that have sent me messages and just left me sitting there with my mouth hung open. Here are just a few of those fabulous stories. There are those that are dishonest and somehow try to wrap up the dishonesty into some sort of pretty package. Yes, I too like certain aspects of how I looked 5+ years ago, but since my hair color can change so much, I can't fathom posting super old pics just because I don't have the same age in my skin. I also have an accurate age on my profile. One such person I met took this to a different extreme. He had children a bit later, which meant he had a tough time meeting women at a similar life experiences time in his own age group, so he decided to go 6 years younger. I'm 38. His profile said 43 instead of 49. We talked back and forth on the site, swapped numbers, texted a bit, then spoke on the phone one night. After about an hour conversation, we were wrapping it up. That's when he decided to share that "oh by the way, I lied about my age so that I could date somebody at a similar point in life. Is that ok?" Um no, I'm going to wonder what else he might be lying about. I was polite which was rewarded with "I've updated my profile. I respect your opinion, so could you look it over and let me know what you think?" Say what?! Some people are just really honest about what they're looking for. I do wonder what in the world attracts some guy to think he's my type with a name like bone4u. I seriously wish I was kidding. Those that use 69 in their user ID are far too common. There are those that use the word sexy on their first message to me. There are countless men on this site who are very big on pictures with their crotch rockets. Again, I have a small child and am not into the dare devil motorcycles. Bless your mid life crisis little heart. There's the guy who was looking at his friend's profile and logged on to his friend's profile to talk to me, but didn't have his own user ID set up and wanted to send me private pics. Does this sound creepy to anyone else? There's the guy over an hour away whose message was pretty much, hey drive down here tonight to hang out. Chivalry is nowhere near that man's dictionary. And then, there's the story that just had my jaw on the floor: the couple from Charlotte looking for a girl to hang out with and see where it went from there. This couple paid the upgraded membership rate to send them read receipts when their message was read. I read the message simply from the perspective of you have got to be kidding me! What is it about my profile that leads a couple an hour and a half away to believe that I am interested in that?! I clearly stated seeking a male for long term relationship. In no way, shape, or fashion does that sound like "please pick me for your swinging partner!" I can honestly say that I never in a million years would have expected to get that kind of message. Immediately after seeing that message, I got a second message that read something to the effect of "gee, it's such a shame to see someone you have so much in common with and then they aren't interested." What?! That's when you leverage the option of block this person. I share these stories for those that have either longingly commented that you wish at times you were single and particularly for those so wonderful friends who have dared to utter the following phrase, "gee, I don't know what I would do if I was dating again. I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that stuff." It's also dedicated to anyone and everyone just wanting to know exactly what is going on our theft on the dating world. It's a bit of a creepy place out there.

(Originally posted in 2014)