It Started as My Self Therapy and it Became an Inspiration for Others

Six years ago, I began to work on me. I looked in the mirror and I didn't like what I saw, on the outside OR the inside. I was a divorced stressed out single mom, working a job that many would have loved and been incredibly appreciative to have, but I was miserable. I was divorced because I had realized three years before my reasons for marrying weren't the right ones. Since I had been the bread winner in the marriage, I wasn't one of those divorcees who was well funded from an ex husband paying alimony or child support. I used to be the one that made things happen because that is who I had always been. No matter the circumstances, I could make stuff happen. Then how, I wondered had I come to that place? It wasn't just that I had gained thirty pounds that decided to stick around or that most days I was absolutely exhausted, whether I was waking up to take care of my daughter or she happened to be at her dad's. It wasn't just that I had come to despise this great paying job that was now more focused on the product than the person for whom it was developed and could benefit or that the way I was being asked to sell was completely out of alignment with who I was. It wasn't that I had come to despise my then boss who had vocalized she was appreciative of her daughter having playdates on the weekend because it meant she could work and had that same expectation of us.

It was that when I looked in the mirror, I knew that the person who could overcome obstacles, have a kick butt attitude, and figure out how to move through each day with more of a sense of accomplishment than defeat had disappeared. In her place was an exhausted corporate mom, working in pharmaceutical sales, making a great salary and yet wondering how I could possibly have credit card debt, had no time for myself, limited interactions outside the home not just with dating, but even with making new friends, as I had defined or rather limited who I was to the person that was a pain to do things with socially because of an autoimmune disorder that restricted certain foods. I didn't want to be a burden on others by restricting where we could go out to eat based on my limitation or my custody schedule. Despite making the great money that I was making, I also couldn't seem to ever figure out how to afford many little luxuries, such as going out out to eat, vacations, or any of the other things that people do when they make sacrifices to make the kind of money I was making. I felt stuck, miserable, and worst of all, that promise I had made to myself as a little girl to one day be the best mom that I could possibly be was a promise I had broken over and over. I would put my daughter to bed and most nights, fall asleep right there with her. On a good day, she and I had managed to get along and I was a decent mom, but on more days than I care to admit, I had been so stressed, so rushed that lying down with her to help her fall asleep was necessary because the unsettled feeling she had I knew was a result of the stress she had fed off of from me.

In 2012, I had that moment that made me realize things had to change. I saw a picture of myself on a work reward trip that captured it all: I was on my way to the Grand Canyon, passed out on the flight because I had maybe had two hours of sleep the night before, and I truly saw myself. I was beginning to really let myself go, just as I watched my mother do years before. If I wasn't going to take care of myself, how could I possibly think I was capable of taking care of anybody else, let alone being the kind of person worthy of the things I longed to have in my life: great friends, a healthy relationship that would lead to a healthy marriage, and the ability to be a great mom, who also enjoyed my career again? I decided to start tackling some of these areas and start working on myself. I knew it had to start with fueling my body with the right foods, getting back to being the organized person that others still thought I was, and at some point facing all of the toxic thoughts I had formed in my head surrounding my financial abilities or rather lack thereof.

When I committed to a healthier version of me, I did as I always had done, I dug deep and educated myself, realizing that the way that I was coping with my autoimmune disorder was actually more unhealthy than I realized. The foods that I thought were healthy were actually significantly higher in sugar and carbs, triggering weight gain, lack of focus, exhaustion, and impairing my sleep. I was so focused on making these changes when a local news reporter challenged a viewer to have her personal trainer come into their kitchen to do a clean-out, I volunteered. I didn't realize that would also include her announcing my weight loss goal on the air.

Months after I started my journey, I had solidly accomplished my goal and started working on the next big area of stress, finances. I was making right around six figures a year, yet I still had credit card debt, a car loan, and several moments of thinking I wish I could do what other women are doing, enjoying vacations, and splurges, but I can't because I am a single mom. That's when I solidly committed to the Dave Ramsey plan. I was well on my way to becoming the person I knew I was mean to be and living the best version of me. I even met a wonderful man and fell in love.

Here's the thing though, as much work as I was doing on myself and my habits, I had no clue how vital it was to be working on my mindset, figuring out how to overcome my fears and negative stories that were on replay in my mind. My company announced massive layoffs that would be coming up in the middle of 2013. In the middle of this announcement, I realized the relationship that I was in was more codependent than healthy, he had a drinking problem and that wasn't good for me or my daughter. He was becoming more absent, so much so that when I miscarried an unexpected pregnancy, I didn't even tell him until after the fact. The next day, he disappeared for hours, came to the house drunk to let me know he was walking out of my life. To say this was a low point would be an understatement. I cried for weeks over this, at times, uncontrollably. I had finally allowed myself to fall in love and it was clearly with the wrong person. I was a single mom who knew that I needed to pay off my debt to be free, and I was about to be unemployed. I also knew that the income I was making was a result of having been a specialty rep prior to becoming a mom and because I didn't cap out on the salary, I was able to keep my base income as a rep working a small manageable territory. The only way to make that kind of salary again was going to require that I work a large geography and be farther away from my daughter as she was about to start kindergarten. I was going to have to figure out how to take a cut in pay and still pay off my debt.

This was about the same time that I started my blog. I started it as self therapy to work through the tough stuff. I had always loved writing. I was present on social media, but I did this more for myself than for anybody else. While I had gone to a therapist post divorce, I needed to work through those tough moments myself and had always found some peace in writing. I came up with the title of Healthy Happy Mommy because I knew I was on a journey and that was my goal, to be a healthy happy mommy, not to have to sacrifice one for the other. Happiness encompassed releasing the stresses that were weighing me down, especially the financial burden. I once again became the woman on a mission that I knew I could be. I found another job six weeks after the layoff happened and it involved a significant cut in pay and working a contract job. After experiencing a layoff, I was now working a job that if they wanted to let us go, they could do it with no notice and no severance. As a single mom, that was more than just a little scary. I had to figure out how to pay off my debt. I realized how many ways I was wasting money and cut them all. The social life I thought I didn't have before now really didn't exist. There was no going out to eat, no housekeeper, and so many other things I took for granted. On May 12, 2014, after a seven hour drive to Nashville, Tennessee with my five year old daughter and finally having a weekend vacation, I did my debt free yell on air with the Dave Ramsey show. You can see that link here. I paid off $42,000 in fourteen months while taking a $26,000 cut in pay.

I shared my story of this part of my journey on social media, as well as through my blog. This little blog that I started as therapy for me I realized had become inspirational to people that I never expected. I was being cheered on by people I didn't know, and was even interviewed by another blogger to share how I did it. I realized then how much we all want that connection with others. As a wise mentor said, " We all want to cheer on the underdog and see them come out as the hero, but nobody wants to actually be the underdog who has to work through it." My blog and social media were raw and vulnerable. They had to be in order for me to accomplish what I wanted to accomplish.

Shortly after I did my debt free yell, I was blessed with an opportunity that would forever change my outlook on things, but I had no idea at the moment just how much it would. While I was so grateful that I managed to get myself healthy and pay off my debt, I was miserable with the amount of time I had to spend in the kitchen to eat that healthy. I dismissed the fear and anxiety I had over living a normal life and being able to go out to eat with the excuse that I couldn't go out to eat because every spare dime I created needed towards paying off my debt, so going out to eat didn't fit those goals, but what about the fact that all of my spare time seemed to be spent budgeting, meal planning, and cooking? There had to be an answer and that answer came in the form of a health solution that became a financial solution as well. Since I had been so public about my health and financial transformations, it wasn't any different for me to share this next step in my journey of finding a more manageable way to get healthy, time and costwise than what I was doing. (It was keto by the way, before it became the cool thing to do.) I shared this journey with the new nutrition program and when I posted my before and after pictures at the end of my 30 days, along with the fact that I had gone from a size 6 to a size 2 while spending less time prepping, had more energy, and finally felt more confident in a bikini WITHOUT exercising, because I had no time, I learned that there was a financial benefit to this thing too.

It turned out that the company that made these products paid referral bonuses and they pay rather well for just opening my mouth and talking, something that I was clearly good at doing. Two years after starting my journey of becoming a healthy happy mommy who tackled physical and financial stressors, I was blessed with an opportunity that would help both. I made some great money and loved helping others.

Four years later, I have turned that word of mouth thing into what I do full time. As I have been working to figure out my brand and how I can relate to other moms, I have tried to figure out how to make the pivot. Do I keep Healthy Happy Momzy? (Somebody else bought the other domain.) Does it really encompass the person that I know I can help? The answer is yes. I started this blog as part of my journey to living my best life, to being a healthy happy mommy, managing daily stress, becoming healthy physically and financially so that I could enjoy each day as a mom, and eventually doing this with an amazing partner by my side through it. Yes, I have finally met him, but that is a whole other series of blog posts and thoughts. This post is about giving hope to the moms out there who are struggling, but know there is a better way. You want be be part of a bigger movement that helps others globally to improve their health and their finances. You love your family and you want to work to provide for them, while also being able to establish balance and be present for those moments that matter.

I have spent the majority of the past four years wanting to really help others feel better and look better, but the truth is that even though being healthy and feeling great in my clothes is amazing, it was the financial stress that would keep me up at night. It was that worry that would either have me wanting to bury my head in the sand pretending it didn't exist or would be the underlying reason behind my short fuse and need to snap at somebody because they "just didn't understand" my financial burden. I know that is something that many people feel the stress of and that it is taboo to discuss it because as vulnerable as it is to be on a health journey, it's even scarier to think that despite amazing salaries and benefits, living in the dream house, enjoying wonderful vacations, or whatever else might be going on, the idea that it could all be over in an instant based on corporate cutbacks whether it's for herself, her husband, or the single mom causing us to wonder how we will provide that home for raising our families is the real fear. If you can relate to this or believe there's a better solution or want to do more for your family to cushion your comfort level, please send me a message. There is a way and I am beyond blessed to be able to share that with others, like you.