Creativity, Vision, and Dream
I tapped into my creative side the past few weeks and brought my mom to me in a dream.
I spent a week working on the recent breakfast room table. It was a labor of love and when I finished it, I felt relief, pride, and nostalgia. I remembered my first table I refinished nineteen years ago. It was a table my co-teacher gave to me. It was forest green and had been her outside table, but it was free and I had a vision for it long before I saw it. I knew I would need to sand it and repaint it in some sort of creative way. And I did. The table and chairs when I was done were in two shades of blue in some sort of finish that I think I must have described to the person working the paint counter at the local super home store. I was proud of that table. I took it with me when I moved to North Carolina. When I bought my first house a few years later, I sanded and repainted it purple to go in my wine themed kitchen.
I remember working on that project. I remember the hours and heart I put into it, both times. And I remember my mom coming outside talking to me the first time I did it and complimenting me on my creativity, my vision for the table and willingness to do something that I had no clue how to do. This was a conversation I forgot about, until this morning.
I channeled that creativity and vision into different areas over the years, mostly into my garden and my house at Christmas. When it comes to decorating in general, I often get overwhelmed. My ADHD brain tends to tune into everything, incapable of focusing on anything, especially where to start, so unless I get a clear vision, I can find myself stuck. But clear the way when I have my vision because I am on a mission! I love gardening, but the last few summers, I have found myself with so much to do, that I have been grateful most of my garden is full of perennials and little time was spent tending to this creative energy. Christmas is the one time of year that I want guests in my home constantly without concern over if it’s perfectly clean (ok I try not to be overly concerned...) because I know when people walk in my house at Christmas, I know what they feel: warmth and love. I know it’s one of the times I am blessed to share this gift and allow others to have that feeling of joy because of a vision I had. That vision started back in my elementary years and I began implementing in college, planning way ahead for my future home at Christmas time.
This morning, I woke up after a dream, well ahead of the alarm, incapable of going back to sleep because I couldn’t help but think about the dream I had in such vivid detail. My mom was still alive. We were in the garage talking about the table my daughter and I just finished repainting last week. I have been looking for chairs to go with the table, and in my dream, my mother found them for me. They were ironically identical to the chairs I repainted with my first DIY table project. She was complimenting me on my vision and my creativity and how blessed I am that my daughter also possesses that gift. The rest of the conversation I couldn’t remember until after a conversation I had with a sorority sister tonight. I would lie if I said I wasn’t crying writing this.
My mom was encouraging me to use that same creativity and vision to impact thousands of others’ lives. I have accepted that I couldn’t get her to make the health changes soon enough, but I learned from her mistakes and I changed my choices as a result. What was it in that conversation that made me remember? It was the trigger when my friend came to me ready to improve her health because she looked at her family history and was ready to make a difference in her future compared to what her family had experienced. I have been there. I remembered that feeling tonight and I knew when I spoke to my Gamma Phi sis, she was at that same point too. I also knew that dream this morning was a moment of acknowledgement that it’s time to live into my strengths, find others with that vision and help them as I continue to build not just my business, but an amazing community of kick a** moms ready to take control of their lives and impact the lives of thousands.
In a world where certainty has become less certain, the traditional jobs can make cut backs on a moment’s notice, the irony is that many people are still more likely to congratulate a friend on accepting a new job than on taking a termination to make a big scary life changing decision to pursue her dreams as an entrepreneur and life changer. I know my friends are cheering me on and I am so grateful for them. I also know there are others who question my choices.
The scary part had been because I knew in my gut what I am destined to do and I know this is it, but until a recent conversation with a mentor I admire helped pull this out of me, I was lacking a real vision and a willingness to get vulnerable, which happens to be one of my strengths that allows me to help others. I am willing to step out, own my insecurities and mess ups and find ways to turn them around. Painting this table was a way of getting back in touch with my creativity and a reminder that when it comes to project worth the investment, as long as I am willing to have a vision and do the work, I can't mess it up beyond repair. It will however take work to get it in alignment with my vision.
The last year and a half have provided many opportunities to do that and rather than embracing my strengths and taking control, I was burying them, frustrated with my failure to truly thrive. So many times in the pursuit of trying to be everything we think we should be, we forget to slow down and embrace who God put us here to be and the strengths He blessed us with to help others be the best they can be. May you be willing to embrace your unique gifts and use them to live your best life. Cheers to living your best life!
